There have been some recent changes here at Frump Central. After years of enjoying the freewheeling lifestyle of people without children or pets, Monsieur Frump and I have been granted temporary custody of a dog.
Absurdly cute, isn’t he? A little blurry, maybe. (And I thought fashion photos were hard to get in focus!)
Charlie’s humans are in a bit of a bind, so he’ll be bunking with us for another week or so. The responsibility was a little intimidating at first, since we think nothing of leaving the house for twelve hours at a time. I wasn’t at all sure that our house had been sufficiently dog-proofed.
But Charlie is at least twelve years old, so he’s pretty mellow. He doesn’t get into things much. (Unless you count that little incident with the heartworm medicine. “If you didn’t want me eating it, why did you put it in a tempting flavor-tab?” That’s Charlie’s take on it, and he’s not exactly wrong).
But I digress. Mister Frump is now officially the alpha dog, and I am second in command. It’s nice, sometimes, to have a reason to leave the office at a reasonable hour and come home to take a dog outside.
True, I’ve had a little less free time for assembling new outfits, shopping for fall items, or tweaking my beauty routines. Instead, I have been observing the life (and style) lessons that a dog can teach. For instance:
- A black fur coat is very slimming! So what if fleas and ticks can hide in it? This is the price we pay for fashion.
- Beauty sleep is important. Even if you have to go outside first thing in the morning, 6 am is still too damn early.
- Don’t fade into the background. Stand right in the middle of the room and let the world admire you.
- Treadmill, shmeadmill. Walking outside will put a spring in your step and keep you young. Plus, you can stick your nose into all kinds of wonderful, wonderful things.
- How can you be bored when something as simple as a tennis ball provides hours of fun?
- Being cool and aloof may be stylish, but where’s the fun in that? It’s much better to show everybody how you feel. There’s no shame in whimpering when your loved ones leave and quivering with excitement when they return.
- It’s our creature comforts that separate us from the beasts. Wolves may have slept on the forest floor, but that’s because they didn’t have access to fleece blankets. Or sofas.
- If you greet the world with a cheerful smile and a sunny disposition, nobody will mind your smelly breath. Well, OK: they won’t mind too much.
- Don’t be afraid to age gracefully. A little grey around the muzzle lends an air of sophistication.
- Just because you slow down a little with age, don’t think you can’t still have fun. With the right motivation, you can still break into an enthusiastic trot.
- Listen to your doctor. If the vet says you need arthritis medicine, don’t try to be a hero. Take the pill and continue to enjoy an active lifestyle! And a spoonful of peanut butter helps the medicine go down.
- There’s nothing wrong with maintaining a simple style. Leave the cute sweaters to the little Paris Hilton dogs. Classic dogs look best unadorned.
- You are awesome, just the way you are.